Tech-Strodinary

“WE ARE GOING TO BE TAKEN OVER BY ROBOTS”

“KIDS DON’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE ANYMORE”

“IF THE INTERNET DIES…WE ALL DIE”

This is literally the shit I hear on the daily from me ol’ Mumma. She is like an older, more eccentric version of Jen from IT Crowd. (If you don’t know what IT Crowd is, stop reading my blog, go watch it and then come back.) But yeah, so as I was explaining, my mother among many other people, is petrified of the evolution of technology. And so instead of persistently feeling like I am banging my head against a fucking brick wall talking her through the evolution of tech, I figured I may as well chuck it out on here too. Maybe you have Technophobic Luddite among friends or family that you can give this to instead of yet again resorting to saying – “You know what WiFi is actually powered by fairies and Terrabytes are actually what we use to feed the high definition unicorns that deliver all the e-mails ever across the world.”

Right, so settle in and join me. Get a brew on and pull up a blankie.

I am currently a whole twenty-five years old and in my time I have gone from the black and white display, weight of a brick, grey Game-Boy to now the PS4. I have seen the Nokia 3310 to the Samsung S9. I have seen Windows 98 to now Windows 10. LCD display to 4K ultra HD curved screens. 2mp cameras to 14mp cameras. VHS tapes to mobile streaming. Shit me, literally massive bounds in mainstream consumer tech. Take the Sony Walkman to Spotify as another example. No longer do we have to queue for CD singles and make sure we put the right CD back in the case. And no longer do we have to breathe a “Hahhh” onto the back of a CD fogging it over to then wipe it on our t-shirts. This does make me feel very nostalgic and a little sad, but then I look over to my absolute shit hot playlists on Spotify and know these problems are all of the past. And that makes me feel much better as I put on Bon Iver.

But what people don’t think about is that besides the fact that all baby pictures are now being taken on smart phones, we can save even more lives and perform what could be argued medical miracles. We are able to give the ability of bearing child to families that wouldn’t have been able to prior. We can grow whole bloody organs like ears on animals or in a petri-dish. Burn victims being healed with the skins of Tilapia fish. Our bounds in mainstream consumer technology aid those suffering with Diabetes to monitor and to dose Insulin far easier. Robots performing standard routine operation, saving fatigued over worked surgeons and doctors from ending up making error down to sheer exhaustion of the job. And you know what, as much as people say they hate technology, or the classic of “kids don’t read books anymore and just play computer games”, I guarantee hands down they would sit back and let a robot do their house work, cook their dinners, drive the kids to school and walk the dog. ‘Cause let’s face it. We are all fucking lazy bastards in one way or another.

Technology is captured is this paradox (big word I know) of everyone wanting it to do everything but also everyone not wanting it to do anything. Jesus, kids these days are being super smart. adopting what is happening around them. Maybe people hate Millenials or Gen X’s,or whatever people want to brand them as, because they are ahead of the game and aren’t moaning about the world going to shit. They are just cracking on with life and embracing how exciting the augmentation, not automation (key point) technology will bring to our ever changing world.

Whether you like it or not. Technology is evolving and unless you’re Elon Musk, I doubt Brenda from Bognor is going to do shit to change it. I am excited. We all should be. Kids might not know how a book works, but at least their precious life stands a better chance against life threatening disease.

Sorry had to get that off my chest.

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